Canine Glitter Balls Are a Load of Bollocks

Poodle with golden glitter balls
Poodle with golden glitter balls
Poodle with golden glitter balls. Photo: Facebook.

You’ve heard about it: decorating the testes of dogs with glitter. The glitter is edible and is stuck on with corn syrup. It is actually deviant behaviour. It is quite mad and the people who do it are bonkers.

I just don’t know where they got the idea from. Guessing, it would seem that it originates in the idea that a dog’s testes should be covered up because for some people it’s rude to allow them to be on view. It seems to be an extension of political correctness combined with sexual deviancy.

I can remember, actually, a phase that cat owners went through which didn’t last longer than about five minutes and which entailed putting a colourful plug in the arsehole of cat companions. That’s something similar and thankfully it didn’t last.

I’m shocked that our relationship with dog companions has descended to this level. I don’t know how widespread this is. I suspect that only small number of people do it but nonetheless it is extremely odd.

The trend was first seen at the Royal Paws Pet Salon in High Point, North Carolina. They say, now, that they have discontinued the service.

“I just thought I would let everybody know the latest creative grooming trend is glitter balls! Please know that I love doing creative, but I will NOT doing this. Posting for your entertainment.”

Royal Paws Pet Salon, N. Carolina
Blue balls. How does the dog feel? Does it irritate or annoy? Photo: Facebook.

I suppose that the reason why the glitter is edible is because dogs lick their own testes. It’s a practical matter! I wonder if dogs find it irritating. They should. The Internet seems to be divided on whether it’s a good thing or not. You know my opinion: it’s quite mad. Some people think it’s a good idea. Others, in my opinion the wiser ones, will consider it to be a form of borderline animal abuse. No doubt many will think that that is an extreme description.

The animal isn’t harmed and neither is the dog neglected. In fact the dog is being decorated. I take the point. But it is disrespectful of our canines, man’s best friend, to do this. It’s like dressing up a cat to make her look cute. Or like tattooing a hairless cat to decorate him or her.

Our companion animals should be left alone to be natural. That’s the only way they can be respected. We should admire them for what they are and not project onto them our desires, whims and deviant sexual behaviour.

One last point: dogs should be neutered like cats in any case. There should be no balls – right?

Image at top of page: Facebook.

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